Stylistic Analysis Of The Poem “THE ROAD NOT TAKEN” By Robert Frost

 ABSTRACT 

The present study aims to analyze the stylistic features of the poem The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost. The poem is composed of different literary devices that need analysis through interpreting the expressions that these devices have brought to give meaning to the poem, such as the style, theme, poetic devices, imagery, and sound devices. The present analysis will surely guide the readers to understand better the meaning behind the poem “The Road Not Taken”, and the poet.

Keywords: Style, Stylistics, Theme, Poetic devices, Imagery, Sound devices

INTRODUCTION

Style in poetry refers to all the choices that are made to create the poem's meaning. Style can include technical choices, such as using short or long lines, varying or omitting punctuation, or using a set rhythm or rhyme scheme. Style can also include poetic choices such as diction, form, and subject matter. All these things contribute to a reader's overall experience reading a poem, and they make up its style. The style of writing poetry differs from person to person--long or short meters, three or four lines to a stanza. But the great thing is, no matter how a poem is written, it still holds great emotion. Robert Frost has a unique conversational style that is unlike any other dramatist. Frost has written a large number of poems in which the speakers are engaged in conversations and tends to characterize the speakers as more dramatic actors.

Style

Robert Frost's writing style can best be described as a mix of 19th-century tradition combined with 20th-century contemporary technique. Frost was a modern poet who liked to use conventional form metrics combined with New England vernacular. His writing style changed gradually over time, becoming more abstract in his later years. In terms of poetic style, Frost utilizes the iambic pentameter and the iambic tetrameter in his conversational pieces. He is known for ending his poems with a “gnomic, epigrammatic, even hortatory and sermonic statement (Charney 150).” And, he seems to be seeking some conclusive moral or philosophical message at the end of his poems.

Stylistics

The term stylistics is employed in a variety of senses by different linguists. In its widest interpretation, it is understood to deal with every kind of synchronic variation in a language other than what can be ascribed to differences of regional dialect. At its narrowest interpretation, it refers to the linguistic analysis of literary texts. One of the aims of stylistics in this sense is to identify those features of a text that give it its stamp and mark it as the work of a particular author. Another is to identify the linguistic features of the text that produce a certain aesthetic response in the reader. The aims of stylistics are the traditional aims of literary criticism. What distinguishes stylistics as a branch of linguistics (for those who regard it as such) is the fact that it draws upon the methodological and theoretical principles of modern linguistics.

INTRODUCTION OF THE POET, ROBERT FROST (1874-1963)

Robert Lee Frost, New England’s cherished poet, has been called America’s purest classical lyricist and one of the outstanding poets of the twentieth century. He was a modernist poet. During his childhood, he thrived in English and Latin classes and discovered a common thread in Theocritus' and Virgil’s poetry and the romantic balladry. Frost’s style was influenced by the early romantic poets as we can see the romantic features in his poems.  Frost was born on March 26, 1874, in San Francisco, California. He spent the first 11 years of his life there until his journalist father died. Beginning in 1897, he attended Harvard University but had to drop out after two years due to health concerns. He returned to Lawrence to join his wife. In 1900, He moved with his wife and children to a farm in New Hampshire and they attempted to make a living on it for the next 12 years. Though it was a fruitful time for Frost's writing, it was a difficult period in his personal life, as two of his young children died. Despite such challenges, it was during this time that he acclimated himself to rural life. He grew to depict it quite well and began setting many of his poems in the countryside. Frost demonstrated an enviable versatility of theme, but he most commonly investigated human contacts with the natural world in small encounters that serve as metaphors for larger aspects of the human condition. His 1916 poem, "The Road Not Taken," is often read at graduation ceremonies across the United States. As a special guest at President John F. Kennedy’s inauguration, Frost became a poetic force and the unofficial "poet laureate" of the United States. Frost was widely admired for his mastery of metrical form, which he often set against the natural rhythms of everyday, unadorned speech. In this way, the traditional stanza and metrical line achieved new vigor in his hands. Over his long career, Frost succeeded in lodging more than a few poems where, as he put it, they would be “hard to get rid of,” among them “The Road Not Taken” (published in 1915, with its meaning disputed ever since). He can be said to have lodged himself just as solidly in the affections of his fellow Americans. For thousands, he remains the only recent poet worth reading and the only one who matters.

INTRODUCTION OF THE POEM “THE ROAD NOT TAKEN”

The Road Not Taken, a poem by Robert Frost, published in The Atlantic Monthly in August 1915 and used as the opening poem of his collection Mountain Interval (1916). Written in iambic tetrameter, it employs an abaab rhyme scheme in each of its four stanzas.

The poem presents a narrator recalling a journey through the woods when he had to choose which of two diverging roads to travel. The work’s meaning has long been disputed by readers; Frost himself claimed that it was a parody of the Georgian poet Edward Thomas. Frost credited Thomas's long walks over the English landscape as the inspiration for his poem, "The Road Not Taken." He spent the years 1912 to 1915 in England, where among his acquaintances was the writer Edward Thomas. Thomas and Frost became close friends and took many walks together. One day as they were walking together they came across two roads. Thomas was indecisive about which road to take and in retrospect often lamented that they should have taken the other one. After Frost returned to New Hampshire in 1915, he sent Thomas an advance copy of "The Road Not Taken". Thomas took the poem seriously and personally, and it may have been significant in Thomas's decision to enlist in World War I. Thomas was killed two years later in the Battle of Arras.

METHODOLOGY

The stylistic analysis will be used to identify the elements of language and classify expressions being applied to the poem as part of understanding the possible meanings of it. The present study will recognize the concept of style that the poet had used to emphasize the text which effectively causes an impact on the readers.

The theme of the Poem

The theme of the poem is life choices, indecisiveness, and risk. The poem introduces the two paths; one was taken by most people, and the other was not, which on the other hand, shows that it is part of human survival to choose, decide and risk. People should avoid doubting their choices because, at the end of the day, it would make a difference, Thus, if you won, you succeed, but if you failed, you learned.   

HANDLING OF THEME

The theme is handled through the given terms or lines and the image is created to readers’ minds which also created the dilemma. The poem begins with a dilemma a persona had on having two roads diverging in a yellow wood, and that the person can’t travel both, as stated in the second line, which gives the readers the idea that the poem talks about, “deciding what choice to make and risk, but somewhere sometime people would doubt and even regret their decisions without knowing that it is all part of the process.” The two roads and the yellow woods are both simple terms and had a simple image, but the meaning it offers to the readers extend beyond its literal meaning. Then, later on, the speaker describes the differences between the said two roads, not to mention that these roads have something in common. However, someone who has been traveling knows what a road would look like if taken by many people and those who were not taken by travelers.  In life, regardless of how identical the path people have chosen, they still lead to different destinations. For example, people decided to pursue education and go through the same challenges but ends up with a different career. However, most of the time people would have moments that they would have doubts about taking another path or pursuing another field after finally got the other one, as presented in the third stanza,

 And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.  

Looking back on the struggles to achieve a specific destination, most people would stop by where they at, and would doubt taking another opportunity knowing that it would be another long rough journey. There was an urge for the persona to take another path but then he doubted if he should. With the lines presented in the last stanza, readers would finally realize that the theme lies within the lines. The moral of the poem was presented in the last part and so it shows that the poem perfectly offers a dilemma and common struggles of life in choosing what path to make.     

POETIC DEVICES

Symbolism

Symbolism presented different ideas present in a single term. Giving these terms their symbolic meanings create a deeper and significant understanding of the poem.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

Two roads represent the choice of a journey the persona would have to take. Yellowwood signifies autumn, wherein yellow leaves fall. 

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

These three lines symbolize a solo journey of the persona and that he tried to see how far the road would take him.    

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Persona also stands to the other road to assess which roads he wanted to take. He tried to compare the two roads to better so he could have a better claim. 

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

The following lines describe the two roads. Grassy and wanted wear symbolizes that the road was not taken by most people because leaves grow freely and that no sign of cut trees and grass usually happen when people step on them or make a path that would guide the other travelers which are also signified on the next lines,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

It is another representation of doubting taking another journey to see other opportunities. Coming back symbolizes the struggles the persona has been through to get to his destination, and now he doubted if he could suffer it again.    

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Sigh symbolizes a fulfillment of reaching the destination he chose. The persona took the road less traveled and that made him different from others.

IMAGERY

The object, or experience that a poet is contemplating is usually perceived by that poet in a relationship to some second object or event, person, or thing. The poet may be thought to transfer from this second object certain qualities, which are then perceived as attributes of the original object, the poet intends to decorate, illuminate, emphasize, or renew by such transferences the original character of that which is contemplated. The making or finding of the image is an activity by which the poet invites the reader to establish certain relationships, which in turn involve value judgments.

Simile

A simile in poems or literature as a whole may be expressed directly and indirectly or simple and complex or short and long. “As just as fair” in the second stanza is an example of a simile.

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

It means that it is valid and even to compare the two roads to have a better claim of what to choose between the two. The comparative language was used to make a decision. 

Metaphor

In poetry a metaphor may perform varied functions from the mere noting of a likeness to the evocation of a swarm of associations; it may exist as a minor beauty or it maybe the central concept and controlling image of the poem. Through metaphors with the other literary devices, “The Road Not Taken” offers a significant lesson about life in general especially in dealing with the decisions people have to make.

It stated in the poem that there are “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,” which is the metaphor used for the entire poem because it brought the dilemma of life about making the right choices whether it is for temporary satisfaction or permanent fulfillment. At some point, there is a need to decide and take a risk in life to survive. Two roads are meant for two options while the yellow wood implies a fall season or autumn years. Autumn is the time when old leaves fall or new leaves grow. It is the time when people decide to take a path for a new journey.     

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Metaphorically means uncertainties of life. Regardless of the path people have chosen, no one would ever know where does it took them. Therefore, people tried to balance things up, assess any possibilities that might happen and then decide what they think is better, which is highlighted in the line “and having perhaps the better claim.”

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

After having a comparative analysis of the two roads, the persona came out with the conclusion that they are identical, “and both that morning equally lay,” which is metaphorically represented by the idea of having no leaves had trodden.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

Metaphorically means that in life, we may look back on our past decision but we can never go back to them.  

Hyperbole

Hyperbole is used to express terms or ideas in an exaggerated language that emphasizes the emotion of the literary work. In the poem, the line “Somewhere ages and ages hence:” is an example of "hyperbole" which can be found in the 17th line.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

 

The underlined line overstated the time.  It simply means “years from now” at anywhere the speaker would tell that he had an option, but he chose the one who is rare to choose.

SOUND DEVICES

The following sound devices are used in the poem, The Road Not Taken

Alliteration

Alliteration adds a beautiful rhythm to the poem which also helps to emphasize the mood.   In the poem, the “wanted wear” from the 8th line, “Because it was grassy and wanted wear,” is an example of alliteration. Also, the “first for” from the 13th line, “Oh, I kept the first for another day.” The “telling this” from the 16th line, I shall be telling this with a sigh, and the “took the” from the 19th line, “I took the one less traveled by.”

Consonance

Consonance is the recurrence of consonant sounds within or at the end of the given line.  This gives a poem a rhythm and beat that would add emphasis to the emotion present on each line.  

The repeating “r”, “w”, “t”, “f”, "th", “d”, “s”, and "f" sounds make the poem more interesting to readers because of the rhythm it produces.  Roads diverged in a yellow wood (Line 1), not travel (line 2), looked down one as far as I could (line 4), to where it bent (line 5), Then took the other, as just as fair (line 6), wanted wear (line 8), though as for that the passing there (line 9), both that (line 11), first for (line 13), knowing how way leads on to way (line 14), this with (line 16), ages and ages hence (line 17).

Assonance

Assonance is the recurrence of a vowel sound within or at the end of the given line which establishes a rhythm. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood (line 1), sorry I could not travel both (line 2), and be one traveler (line 3), looked down one as far as I could (line 4), where it bent (line 5), as just as fair (line 6), having perhaps (line 7), was grassy and wanted (line 8), as for that the passing (line 9), both that morning (line 11), way leads on to way (line 14),  I doubted if I (line 15), I shall be telling this with a sigh (16), ages and ages(line 17), less traveled (line 19), And that has made (line 20).

Rhyme scheme

The poem consists of 20 lines and divided into four stanzas with the rhyme scheme of ABAAB CDCCD EFEEF GHGGH; A-wood, B-both, A-stood, A-could B-undergrowth; C-fair, D-claim, C-wear; C- there, D-same;

E-lay, F-black, E-day, E-way, F-back; G-sigh H-hence, G-I G-by, H-difference. There is a unique arrangement of rhymes, wherein the first, third and fourth are rhymes, and the second and fifth lines are rhymes.   

CONCLUSION

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost is not just about Thoma's indecisiveness in choosing what road to take and then lamented for not taking the other one. There is more about the poem that makes it interesting to readers, one of which is the life lesson it brings especially that in life people must take time to assess each life choices such as opportunities, careers, relationship because once the decision has been done there is no going back, we would either failed or succeed. The comparative language used by the poet gives the poem an idea about the theme and the message of the poem.  Furthermore, the ironic undertones throughout the poem were used to leave an interest in the other paths, but regardless it makes the poem real because in life we won’t know what will happen if we take the other path, and that is the beauty of life. Not knowing where your risks will take you.  

REFERENCE

1. Gary R. Hess: (2020) How to Use Techniques and Styles in Poems. https://www.poemofquotes.com/articles/poetry_technique.php

2. Julianne Hansen, M.A: (2020) What is the meaning of Style in poetry https://www.enotes.com/homework-help/what-is-the-meaning-of-style-in-poetry-129725

3. Hamp, E. P., Lyons,. John and Ivić,. Pavle (2020, September 11). Linguistics. Encyclopedia Britannica. https://www.britannica.com/science/linguistics

4. A&E Television Networks: (2021) Robert Frost Biography. https://www.biography.com/writer/robert-frost

5.  Poetic and Writing Style of Robert Frost. (2016, Sep 01). Retrieved from

https://phdessay.com/poetic-style-of-robert-frost/

6. Shahin Damoui and Daniel Yu: (2012) Robert Frost’s Conversational Style and Mock-Heroic Tone

https://www.studymode.com/essays/Robert-Frost-Conversational-Style-1087458.html#:~:text=Robert%20Frost%20has%20a%20unique%20conversational%20style%20that,characterize%20the%20speakers%20as%20more%20of%20dramatic%20actors.

7. Britannica, T. Editors of Encyclopaedia (2017, August 16). The Road Not Taken. Encyclopedia Britannica. https://www.britannica.com/topic/The-Road-Not-Taken

8. Gerber, P. L. (2021, March 22). Robert Frost. Encyclopedia Britannica.

https://www.britannica.com/biography/Robert-Frost

9. Britannica, T. Editors of Encyclopaedia (2017, August 17). Poetic imagery. Encyclopedia Britannica. https://www.britannica.com/art/poetic-imagery

10. Britannica, T. Editors of Encyclopaedia (2017, December 8). Metaphor. Encyclopedia Britannica. https://www.britannica.com/art/metaphor

APPENDIX 

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

By Robert Frost

 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

 

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

 

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

 

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

 

 

Power and Conformity in Today’s Schools: A Critique

It has been an old belief that schools should impart knowledge to their students as the goal of schooling. Students should be provided with different aspects of knowledge such as physical, mental, and emotional/moral for them to be functional citizens in their day-to-day lives. We all need to know how to write, read, and solve problems. These have been the basic core concepts of schooling for most schools, if not all. There have been issues regarding a collision of ideas about the core purpose of schooling or education as a whole, and as part of the culture, not to mention each school personnel has an opinion about such. Therefore, it is necessary to recognize other standpoints, including the school administrators, parents, and any other people around the institution.

As for Justin Saldana, Ph.D., the purpose of schooling is the transmission of culture, the process by which the culture of a society is passed on to its children. So, the agents of socialization are the people, the groups, and institutions who influenced each other, which results in social pressures because each individual has something different to offer. But, they have to respectfully accept these differences as, once again, transmitted culture from schools. However, not only the influence of school that the culture formed and executed, but with the help of family and church as these traditional institutions support continuity of thought, morals, values, and other tenets the culture considers significant.

Foucault believes that power is everywhere, not because it embraces everything but because it comes from everywhere. This concept of power became the focus of the discussion. To embody such power, the school exercises strategic power relations as a means and as an end to teach conformity, and in so doing some students learn to become agents in its service, while others learn to oppose it. Schools have to utilize different tactics to achieve their goal for learners and the state. The development of the schools is considered a development of the society. However, schools, like any other institution, cannot please everyone.

As stated in Henslin, 1999:77-78, schools are the agents responsible for socializing groups of children and young people on specific skills and values in a society, which makes sense considering that people are sent to school at an early stage to learn skills and values through active participation of activities and interaction with peers. However, it is not fair to say that the school system has become the glue that holds society together, which was claimed by Justin Saldana, Ph.D., just because the school system responds to society’s needs, and complies with society’s demands, for trained workers, intellectual citizens, and well-educated citizens. Instead, the School system may be one of the factors of societal development, but the people themselves hold the society together. If the people respect individuals, obey the rules implemented for the general welfare, and do their responsibilities as good citizens, the society they are into would surely be strong socially and economically regardless of their educational status. But, nowadays, it is hard to achieve such. Therefore, society uses schools more than the family and church to make people act according to what was expected from them to maintain oneness. That is the reason, society invested a high expectation toward the school system. As Justin Saldana, Ph.D. stated,

“Today's society expects the school system to teach students life skills, such as drug awareness, conflict resolution, and sex education, all within the confines of set parameters imposed by today's society's conflicting values, diverse morals, and emerging mores. The other traditional agents of socialization, the church, and the family, have changed, and in the absence of a consistently strong and homogeneous church and family, the school has emerged slowly as society's binding agent.”

Furthermore, it was also discussed that there was a shred of evidence showing that the purpose of the school from the start was to give heterogeneous society commonness. With power in the school system, students were indirectly taught to act according to the norm. It has been an ideal thought for the school to create a responsible adult that shares something in common, for example having the privilege to vote during elections. However, it is not often possible in other cases, especially in a larger community, considering that there have been individual differences; skills, attitude, and mindset. Hence, culture is one of the contributors to uniting people regardless of individual differences, which also a way to reduce territorial fragmentation and supremacy. For societal culture to be strong, the school system should be given attention. The power that the school system holds is more than just controlling the society, instead, allowing the society to be well-developed.  As claimed by the author that Foucault doesn’t think that power is repressive, his point is that the repressive model is too narrow. It doesn’t mean that once the school system holds the power to society, it gives them authority to hold everyone. Power will only be good if it is not abused or taken for granted and only used in a good way that would make society better. Thus, power is not a bad possession, unless using it in a bad way. In the later part of the paper, the author concluded that;

If the education system seeks to empower rather than constrain it needs to focus on genuine autonomy, and it needs to encourage public debate about the nature of democracy and the rights and responsibilities of citizenship. The church and the family need to shoulder some of the responsibility of promoting genuine cognitive reflection as well since the survival of these two institutions is dependent on the school not becoming an instrument of oppression.

Finally, society would look school system as more than just a tool in transmitting culture, but it is a way to empower each individual- to respect and enjoy the individual rights but at the same time fulfilling the responsibilities as a good citizen. After all, it is important to nurture a strong balance between what is good for ourselves and our society.  

THE HERO IS NOW FLYING, BRAVE ANGEL

Angel was just 19 years old when her life was taken by military thugs last March 03, 2021, Wednesday during the protests in Mandalay Myanmar against democracy, freedom, and the release of Aung San Suu Kyi, the people’s elected leader. As of the moment, the military is ruling the country of Myanmar because of the greed of power and the grief of losing the presidency.

It all started when the other party who lost during the election, which on the other hand had strong ties to the military group, could not accept defeat. The military thought that there was a fraud happening during the election, and so they asked for a revote and further investigation but the government rejects the request because of lack of evidence. The military coup got mad and decided to take over the country by force. They cut the people’s internet connection, power, and communication to hide injustice and inhumane acts of the military against the people. Now the people that are protesting were getting killed, and that is how Angel spent her last day.  

She is a dancer and taekwondo champion, but she chose to sacrifice her life to protect and fight for her country together with the other Burmese, as a consequence she was killed. However, her story doesn’t end there. She knew how dangerous the path she chose, yet she bravely risks the chance of living with the hope that “EVERYTHING WILL BE OK,” as what was written on her black shirt the day she was shot on her neck and head.

What shocked the people most is the note she left inside her bag. It seems like she knew from the start that it will happen, she already prepared herself to face death.  People found her last request on a piece of paper.

"If I am injured and cannot return to good condition, please do not save me. I will give the rest of the body to someone who needs it,"

“My blood type is B+, and if I die, donate my body organs”

According to his friend Myat Thu, Deng Jia Xi was truly a young brave woman. They came and gathered peacefully with the other protestors. However, the military coup started to hit them with tear gas, so she then helped the protesters who were hit by tear gas, by kicking water pipes, so that the demonstrators could wash their eyes with the water. At first, the police attacked the protesters using only tear gas, but then, later on, they began to shoot at the demonstrators with pistols filled with hot lead. Myat Thu recalled what Deng Jia Xi said to him, "When the police opened fire, she told me, Sit down! Sit! The bullet will hit you. He looked like he was on stage”

Shortly before the police attacked the protesters, Deng Jia Xi shouted, "We will not run" and "blood should not be shed".

At that time, the protesters had run around and scattered to avoid the gunfire. But, Angel was not able to protect herself. "A girl has died," people shouted while still hearing the sound of gunfire, and realized that it was Angel. A hero of the nation and a daughter who only wanted to live with freedom, as Bob Dylan said “I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom.”

She will always be remembered because she’s now history. Deng Jia Xi, the brave Angel is now flying with pride and peace.

Self-reliance amidst Pandemic

“You only have yourself at the end of the day”

I often hear that line from people who are healing and dealing with personal struggles, and never did I imagine myself figuring out what they are trying to say. Isn’t that uptight to say? Isn’t that unfair for your family, considering that they have been with you? Isn’t that selfish for you not able to acknowledge other people’s presence, especially your friends? These are the questions that always come to my mind whenever I heard that line, and I couldn’t relate to it, not until the pandemic started.

Before the pandemic, I thought I was strong enough to handle myself and protect myself from anything, including my mind. Everything seems easy and fun at the same time. Whenever I feel down, I manage to continue my day without thinking too much about it. However, I realize that it’s because I never had time to feel the pain. I am surrounded by people who are fun to be with, my friends and classmates, and it’s because of them that I can cope with sadness much easier. Here comes the strict implementation of the health protocols, we were asked to stay at home and as much as possible refrain from going out, which means that I can’t see my friends and classmates more than usual.  From that day on, I slowly recognize the feelings lying on the line, “You only have yourself at the end of the day.” Now, you would think, “well, I have my family,” but the thing is my family is one of those people who doesn’t have much bonding time because we are busy with our individual responsibilities.  

I was stuck at home for almost a year, and there was so much going on within that time. Anxiety, loneliness, and stress kept on hunting me, and not to mention I was mentally exhausted with the online classes. I cried almost every night for an unknown reason. There were times that I was crying straight for more than a week, which on the other hand, ruined my sleeping schedule. I don't sleep until 3:00 pm, and I woke up at around 8 pm, then stay up for the rest of the night crying and overthinking. I tried to be productive, but I only ended up messing things around. I overthink and drown myself in sadness until I realized that no one could pick me up but myself alone. My only enemy is myself, so I have to fight against my mind. Luckily, I slowly learn to stand on my own. No one knows my silent battle, but I am learning a lot from it. I get it now- I was dependent on people. I depend on my happiness on whoever around me since before, that even having an emotional breakdown, I wasn’t able to manage them as I thought I did, instead, I just forget the feelings and invalidating my own emotion through spending more time with friends and things that make me happy for a moment. Look, I didn’t mean to say that it’s a bad thing. However, we have to learn how to defend ourselves in times that no one will be there for us.  We have to independently get out from the things that ruined our mental health without invalidating our emotions.  In short, we have to feel the pain and embrace them, so that the next time we would have the same struggle, it would be much easier for us to handle them on our own.

Furthermore, we have to enjoy our own company because it was never the responsibility of other people to make us happy. We have to find our happiness within us because once again, “We only have ourselves at the end of the day." People in our life are just driving tools for us to move forward, but ourselves alone is the engine to move smoothly. For now, I am slowly recovering from the things that almost ruined me, and I can finally say that I am happy by myself, and I don’t need anyone to fill that emptiness within me because I can do that for myself.