The Promise

I hear the chiming of the bells as I stood from afar. The church is getting near and I couldn't contain my emotions. Nervousness is eating me and I want to back out, to run and hide but I know I couldn't. This event is inevitable.

Yes, I know that we had grown with each other. You and I? We had a promise and I will be fulfilling it today. No matter what the circumstances are I will be in church and see you walk down the aisle even if it means that at the end of the day, I will go home and find someone who will cheer me up after I get broken with you.

But please let me travel down memory lane and recall the day we promised each other.

 

It was one of those many beautiful days of us together when the sky looks serene and peaceful, the sun feels gentle on our skin, and the breeze making our hair (especially yours) wave.  We always have a picnic when the roses are in full bloom. It was always your favorite time of the year. At that moment, I was certain. I loved you and I knew that you loved me too. It was a day a promise was made, it was a day full of love.

 

Then things changed, and now- here I am. Everything is a blur as I stand, waiting for you I felt like a warrior battling with my own emotions. My heart somersaults as the massive door of the church opened and revealed you.

  

Stunning with your genuine smile and glamorous gown that shimmers against the faint light from the windows. I stood there, awed at your unique beauty which seems to glow on that very day. My heart is going out of my chest as my eyes were glued to your figure. My vision only focused on you and everything else is a blur to me. It felt like winter as tears rolled down my cheeks when you are nearing me. With eyes closed, I counted from one to ten and wished for you to reconsider your decisions. Though I knew then that you will never stop for me, your walk will never be for me and your journey will never be with me but still, it hurts like my fresh wounds are seasoned with salt.

 

All I felt was pure bitterness and pain as I watched you continued to walk, pass by me towards the altar, to the man you have been dreaming. Like a boat, I am lost in the middle of a dark ocean. In bits and pieces, my heart lay broken but I couldn't do anything. You had already chosen, and I was merely an option.

How did we not reach this mile? How did I lose you? How did I let you slipped from my hands? These are the questions that flooded my mind as I witness you now exchanging vows. I cannot take it.

The pain is too much for a guy like me to handle.

And like a coward child, I ran.

I ran in hopes that I will be able to get you out of my system. I ran, in hopes that I can just easily shake you from me and move on right there and then. But I cannot.  And like a child, I cried.

I cried in hopes that it will somehow ease the pain.

            Yes, I intend for you to be my bride but you wanted a different groom, not me. I loved you but life did not work the way I wanted it to. Yes, I loved you all those years and I knew you loved me too, but I also knew that you only cared for me as a friend. We promised to be at each other's wedding no matter what.

 Being at your wedding killed me but at least I kept my promise, I fulfilled it though I left early still I was there. At this point in time let me say this parting message for you, my love. May the man would love you, my Melody, please be happy and as I set you free, I am also setting myself free.

Just remember that in my heart are the memories and there you will always be.