Living with Regret in Love

Reflecting on my journey through love and relationships, I see how my experiences have shaped my understanding of self-worth. In high school, I faced a pivotal moment when a guy asked to sleep with me. I declined because I believed in waiting until marriage. Unfortunately, after my rejection, he chose to cheat on me, which left me heartbroken.

In the wake of that betrayal, I turned to online dating. I sought connections with people far away, hoping to avoid physical confrontations. I intended to build a meaningful relationship first, but many of the people I talked to ended up getting involved with others nearby. Each disappointment deepened my feelings of inadequacy, and I started to blame myself for not being what they wanted.

Eventually, I met someone who treated me kindly, and I felt hopeful that our relationship could be different, so I took the risk and gave him a chance. I introduced him to my parents, believing we could build a future together. However, we ultimately broke up due to mutual indifference, leaving me feeling lost and questioning my choices. When I love, I give my all and make significant sacrifices to keep my partner happy. It’s painful to realize that I sometimes lose my self-worth and control when love hits hard. I often wish I could go back to those moments when I had the chance to say no and get to know him better. Doing so might have spared me from future regrets.

Now, I regret not waiting for the right person and the right moment. I feel as if I’ve lost touch with the proud version of myself that held onto my values. I struggle to figure out what I truly want and often feel ordinary, as if I don’t stand out. Through this journey, I’m learning the importance of staying true to myself. My worth is not defined by others’ actions or the ups and downs of my relationships. Instead, it comes from learning and growing through my experiences.

In the end, I’m embracing my journey, including the pain and challenges, and discovering strength within myself.

To the right one,

I’m sorry for not being able to give you the gift that my younger self wished to give you. However, I hope to cook every meal for you, pack a lunch box for you, build a home with you, travel to our dream country, and read books together—things I haven’t done with anyone else.